Triathageek Rap

You are the pinnacle in endurance perfection
A three sport dork with a mental disconnection
Swim bike run, your Macca’s witness
Worshiping the idol of trifecta fitness
You are the One! The Only! The Triathageek!
Swim smooth , run fast and yo watts aint weak!
You wear spandex cuz you’re oh so fit
The ladies love it yeah every little itty bit
You shave your legs and unzip that chest
Cuz for ASI photo, gotta look your best
So far your midlife crisis is going just great
Don’t eat no treats gotta watch that weight
Cuz you’re the Tan the Titan the Triathageek
Swim smooth, run fast and yo watts aint weak!
You ride with deep dish rims, they’re pretty sick
You won’t settle for Hed, You’ll only roll ZIPP
You’ll blow a few G’s for 10 grams of drag
Yeah, your bike is phat, don’t mean to brag
You just don’t care, burn your money for time
Raid your kids college fund yeah they’ll be fine
You are The Pious! The Prudent! The Triathageek!
Swim smooth , run fast and yo watts aint weak!
Your wife’s so very lucky to have you for a mate
Been over two years since she’s gone on a date
The whole wide world just revolves around you
How you crushed the competition and P.R.’d to
Your massive midlife crisis is going just great
Not tonight, in bed early, got masters, can’t be late
You are The Soft! The Selfless! The Triathageek!
Swim smooth , run fast and yo watts aint weak!
You’ve got an ailment, An endurance addiction
Going big to fulfill your performance prediction
The sickness pushes you to the very edge
Give 100 percent right on thresholds ledge
It’s a major case of slow twitch Tunnel vision
A three trick killa, on a Kona collision
The top of the podium is what you seek
You got it brotha.... cuz you’re the Triathageek

I hope I did not offend anyone with this poem, I'm not mocking anyone but myself. I have to laugh at some of our triathlete culture. I love Triathlon and at the same time I have to be careful to keep perspective on what is most important.